Nine Reasons Why Folks Want to Join School Alumni Associations

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Let's face it, Maslow's hierarchy of needs pretty much applies to most aspects of life, including joining school alumni groups.

Listed below are nine (six major and three minor) reasons why most people join school alumni groups either in real-life or in the virtual world.

The Six Majors:(not necessarily in order of priority)

I. To swap stories and reconnect with their old batchmates & buddies.
E.g. “OMG, I just studied your profile on Yahoo and realized that you’ve actually grown shorter by about 2” since leaving school”

II. To gain an edge over other aspiring parents and get into the high priority channel for getting their child admitted to the school.
E.g. “Since I excelled in both curricular & extra-curricular activities while at La Marts, would you believe that they actually called me up and requested me to get my son admitted next year”.

III. To make a clear statement to their peer groups & social circles about their status in the social pecking order
E.g. “ Didn’t you mention a while back that are a Rotarian? Quite a few of them around, I daresay. Incidentally this little badge you see on my lapel signifies that I am an executive committee member of the Harrow Alumni group. Yes, you guessed right, Sanjay (Gandhi) was 3 years senior to me and always insisted that I bowl to him during the cricket nets”

IV. To network for career or business opportunities with anyone who happens to be from his alma mater.
E.g. “I just studied your profile on Facebook and realized that you are a builder. We are suppliers of quality sand obtained from the Subarnarekha delta area and as an alumni I will even give you a 5% additional discount over my wholesale rates. How many tonnes should I plan to send next month?”

V. Self actualization on attaining maturity
E.g. "I always felt that none of the courses during the twelve years that I spent detailed the significance of ‘Om’. I will strive hard together with the school management and the present faculty to introduce a basic and an advanced course on the significance of ‘Om’."

VI. To feel truly pious and holier-than-thou by taking part in voluntary social upliftment work.
E.g. “ Where were you Sunday morning around 9 a.m? Let me tell you that while you were teeing-off at the RCGC, I was standing barehead in the sun, handing out loaves to the members of the Chittagong displaced-persons’ association. It was rather chilly old chap, but I managed to keep myself cozy in my designer Bermudas & Nike windcheater”.


The Three Minors. (not necessarily in order of priority)

A. To narrate tall tales to their juniors who are willing to listen and thus feel important and looked up to.
E.g “During our time Father John, after attending the morning service at St. Paul’s Cathedral, used to mount his stallion, canter down Park Street and enter the school premises at a gallop just in the nick of time for his English language class. During his class the horse used to be tethered just outside the classroom. Did you ever experience something similar? It’s unfortunate how much of the thrill & excitement you guys missed out on.”

B. Because it’s payback time
E.g, “ I believe Anthony Sir’s son is in school currently. Since he regularly used to test the tensile strength of the steel ruler on my outstretched palm, it will give me vicarious pleasure to quietly trip up his son during the next alumni meet. Please do point him out”

C. To hit on classmates or juniors of the opposite sex for whom one had a massive crush during much of the later school years but couldn’t quite muster sufficient courage ever to pour out one’s feelings.
E.g. “You don’t know how much I looked for you after we completed our Higher Secondary exams. Where have you been all these years? I have so much to tell you. Dear dear, is the toddler with the Afro hairdo peeping out occasionally from behind you, your son by any chance.”